Bobakey[dot]net

I seem to get in the habit, that when too many things are going on in the world of Bobakey that I shoudl write here. But do you think I even stop for a moment and actually do that? Nooope. I have the habit of just bottling it all up and then when I finally get a chance to spill everything down on 'paper' as such, I just can't be bothered. *sighs* It's a habit I will break.


So I've been a rollercoaster of emotions [so clique, yet so true]of late. So I suppose the obvious thing to do was to get the obvious thing out first. After much thought, and I mean much I realised that things weren't working with me and Dale as they should have done. So we ended it. A couple days after our 5 months. It seems like such a long and short time all at once. And now I just feel so light, so at ease and free, and not having to worry about Dale - that sounds possibly one of the cruelest thing I have said in a long time but its the truth. Once he realised it was over - I just felt it all lift off my shoulders and I just couldn't help but to smile.


I'm happy.


But never fear, I'm still friends with dale. I seem to have a nack of continuing to be friends with the ex's... its just something I like doing. I'm Crazy, I'm sure. But I've said it before, Dale opened me up to so many new opportunities and gave me 5 months of new experiences [in more ways than one] and I took another step forward with my family coping with "The Gay Son" of their's. We are for once happy as a family that they have a faggot in the family. And I'm Happy.


My mum caught me smiling randomly in the kitchen the other day and asked me if I had got "a new fella already" just because I was smiling. And simple things like my mum saying that if "you weren't gay you would be dating kate ... you two are just so close." [And I'm smiling as I remember this] Yes my life at home can be utter crap at times, but this is my home, and I'm happy.


I met up with Dale on Tuesday, and spent the day sipping on sweet scents of hot chocolate in Cafe Nero - I've never tasted hot chocolate like that before. Perhaps they brewed it especially tasty just for me - or perhaps I had forgotten its sweet taste, or just because I was sitting in comfy chairs - facing my ex boyfriend and just talking - as friends.


Wednesday seemed the roll on pretty good, after dragging my lazy ass out of bed and traveling to see Kate and doing what I found something really weird and exciting all at once. I got to Kates house, let myself in and went up to her bedroom, she was still in bed, nighty an all. I joined her on the bed and we watched tv - I hope that one day I can do this with someone extra special [if thats possible, kate is pretty much special as it is, but sshh don't tell her I said that] She rasseled herself out of bed and cooked me and her brother a fried breakfast [could life get any better??] before we hit the streets in our giggly state. I swear there was something in the tea that day... it looked different from normal, and then me and kate were promtly on a 'natural high'. A bus ride later and we met up with the oldies from school. I miss them, and yet I don't. When I'm with them it feels as if nothing has changed and yet when I leave them, I realise that everything has changed. *Sighs* Twas great to see everyone though, even if it all got scrambled at the end hehe


I got my hair done - NOT JUST DONE - I mean DOOONE. It looks so funked up that it would catch a glimpse of all that spunk thats pent up inside of that boy next door. Red and black suits me like .. erm... like a comparison I can't make! Hot Sex. And all the jazz on the side. Photos can be found here


Thursday/Friday went in a flash. Yes.


So yesterday I went to London, with all the funky people that also went to London and we went to see My Chemical Romance play - damn they were good. GOOD I tell you. *sighs* Shame that they didn't play for longer but then again it went so quickly that I don't really remember much of it. This would be the point where I question myself to whether I took any illegal drugs because I don't remember it... but it was the heat of the moment surely.


Now this is going to sound strange and weird, but I'm still going to write it. Moshing/Jumping or however else you wish to describe it - well.. I was there, amoungst people, and.. it was like having sex. SERIOUSLY [someone else also commented on how it was like sex] Imagine bodies, moving, up and down, close together - so close to a stranger that you can feel their body against yours. Feeling the pulse, the music, the beats, and responding to each other. The way you are literally pressed up against somebody could easily have been like having sex with a beautiful person. Shame that I landed up next to a black women who was slightly over weight and had frizzy hair that battered my face and then she started to move, and we were lost in the music. I miss it now.


I wanted to write a poem on it, the way how my body was charged, in such a way that the electric music pumped itself through my veins, finding its path and enlightening things that need no lights, charging my bounce, forming the bond and breaking it once more. Defying the limits, our bodies moved, swished, swashed, sexed up. I entered her with the music, the beats, the hopefull dying of an age where rock rolled with the drugs. I felt alive, a free spirit, trapped tight around those bodies so much so that they all became me. One massive self. Yet I came all at once and harder and harder the music - the harder it was to remember where I was. Pain outside yet pleasure inside, a combination so intense I look back smiling, smelling the sweet sweat. [Perhaps I'll turn that into a poem one day..?]


Well I'm pretty sure that I have typed for too long, no wonder my bones ache.
For Now, I love you, For later I love you more


luvs

xXx

I have offically become a layabout - and I don't even think I'm proud of it. I dragged myself out of bed at 8:30 this morning just so that I could help father with the shopping. If I had a choice in the matter I would have stayed in bed but truth be told, I don't do alot around the house to deserve looong lay in's.


gg < -- damnit. That was me trying to rescue a bit of oreo from America that got stuck between the g-h keys.. and now its gone forever. *sad face* "[America's] Bobakey's Favourite Cookie" gone down the keyboard...


Moving on, so yes, I looked a state in the car, it may have been a 2 minute car ride to Tesco's for the food shop, but boy was that a well needed *slap of the face* WAKE UP moment. hehe I was just thinking back to a conversation I had with my sister the other day saying that me and father don't bond as much as we should... hello - here we are discussing who's singing on the radio in his car, on our way to do the shopping. I call that bond[age]ing.


*more sad faces* I'm on my last Oreo ... not sure when I will get to eat another one of "America's Favourite Cookie" ... they sell that at college, I'm over it ^-^


I think my dad took this opportunity to teach me the skills of being a super shopper, like himself. *cough* For example: I pick up the smaller bottle of baby lotion but my dad picks up the BIGGER bottle and explains that its cheaper by the 100ml if you buy the bigger one. My dad seems to work upon cost effective, where as I work upon mum buys this one, or I saw this one in the bathroom. Example 2: I picked up the 'normal' doggy poo bags, my dad picks up the cheaper brand... *sighs* We've only walked 10 meters ... this is going to be a looong shopping outting.


I suppose my dad is the king of shoppers, he manages to get the bargains, the things we really need and also sneak in the treats that as children our mothers barked at us for even daring putting in the trolley. We were in the chocolate isle and couldn't decide what to buy mother.. so father decides that you can't go wrong with one of each, so we now have around 1kg of chocolate stored in the cupboards [and mother wonders how we managed to spend £105 just buying the essentials...]


I was even allowed to pick my own breakfast ceral... oh yess, as you can image it took me quite some time. I mean, I was faced with so many different brands, all saying "buy, buy buy me" Rows of Rows of boxes and boxes of breakfast delights. So obviously I went for the most brownish chocolate ridden thing I could find, with extra chocolate AND they were on offer.Point Jakey!: 1 to Jake, 2 to Dad.


[Also snuck in: Chocolate Spread [those were the days...] Pink Waffers, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Cakes and many a delightful treat *evil laugh*]


So after what seemed hours, I got home and then had to help unpack everything *sighs* the down side of going wild and spending alot of money on shopping. I forgot to mention that I didn't even get time to have something to eat before I got dragged out the door... so I was running on an emptystomach. Aw. Time: 10:30ish... so I poured myself some coco snaps, and then went to lay on my bed - just for a minute...


Time: 2:30 I wake up and realised that I really shouldn't have decided to lay on my bed. And I didn't even get to eat the coco snaps. *sighs* You see what happens when I have no will to do anything during a days work...wasn't MY fault that I was up until 2:30 reading my book, - yes actually reading a book. UTOPIA.


So in the end I spent the rest of the 'day' on the sofa watching some film, - I only wanted to watch it because of the cute boy.. *sighs* shame on me.


BUT I have worked, and earned my £45 [wheyhey! £5 more for staying an extra 45 mins on Tuesday!] - I've fed the people their chinese, and now I bid you goodnight


luvs
xXx



[oh and hello to billy..]

So as you may have noticed I've been updating *shock shock* just not my blog, which would be the main thing but hey, hope you all like the new funky[?] design[s]. I've been thinking to myself for way too long that I really do need to update in some form but I've been so busy and stressed, and clean forgetting... but here I am am [don't all jump with joy at once].


So if I can think back over the past 3 weeks that so much has happened that no doubt, I will not mention everything that I should *tuts* but hey, be grateful for this. So the weeks gone past what have you was VERY STRESSFUL Parents jetted off to Orlando for 2 weeks, leaving me and my sister to try and struggle to survive, ok... maybe not that drastic! However it was a learning experience and perhaps an insight into adult hood and living with parent's *shocked faces all around*


Me and my sister kind of dealt differently to the situation, I was in rehearsals for Les Mis nearly everynight so I was getting home at around 8:30 each night, which may not sound like a bit deal but when you've been out of the house since 7:15 my days seemed to just drag on a tad too long. It didn't help with me getting stressed about the whole show of Les Mis and often coming away from rehearsals feeling rather deflated before even facing the traveling home, and getting home and deal with a house.


I seemed to never see kay [sister] that much over the few weeks, but then again it did feel pretty much like a blur for the two weeks. Kay had to deal with the loneliness, being with nobody apart from a dog for 2 weeks does play its toll upon your mental mind, a week longer and she would have cracked! However we got there in the end, and my parents had a fabtastic time without us [charming...]


So when they returned they had to deal with a stressful me, - every few nights I was on the brink of tears because of fears for the show and the pile of coursework that was due in... *thinks back* How did I do all of it?! I was trying to balance rehearsals from 9am-6.30pm with coursework deadlines due the next day...HELP.. But never fear, I worked through every single hour I could and apparently my coursework looked pretty good *evil laugh* I'm... SUPER BOBAKEY


Les Miserables, wow what a show to try and perform at a sixth form college, that had few people who play instruments or could sing.. BUT wow we did it folks. *does a little dance* we did it, we did it! The first night was kinda a flop, but the audience really didn't notice, the problem being that if someone happened to forget their line then it stops the cues for everyone else. Considering the WHOLE show is singing and the music doesn't stop, its not like you can just 'fill in' - it just went wrong - BUT on a good note the duet that I have to sing with cosette [the 'love of my life'] went uber good, so hell I was happy.


The second night [and note: Final night] went so good, that afterwards we were quite in shock. Seen as the night before, the first opening show was the first time ever we had done a full run through - it went pretty well hehe. So we got all the lines and timings nearly right and it went so well that we could have performed it all over again on the Friday night if they bothered to ask us hehe.


Then the after show party, oh dear oh dear, that was a drunken mess. A DRUNKEN mess. And the stories that I keep on hearing... hehe. We played spin the bottle in our drunken states, and the boys got a little carried away, as I think Craig [who is also gay] shouted out: "It's like FREE porn!" - bless. Straight guys getting off is HOT. Gay guys gettting it on with straight guys is even hotter, especially when its you. Oops. Yes I got jiggy with a few people, 2 girls and 3 boys... BUT it was all during the limits of spin the bottle, so I did not pull. Unlike some people [2 couples [who aren't even couples] had sex during the party - one couple on the tramopline?! and the other in the middle of the room when we were sleeping... ewwww]


We all got to sleep at round 4ish and I cuddled up to Calum as we had to kinda share the end of this bed, haha, can't wait to see the photos of that, people are so going to get the wrong ideas... yes, especially since me and Dale are still going out. Although I haven't seen a great deal of him recently, but thats our own faults. I've been so tied up and he has just been.. erm.. partying and such. Thinking of which I should text him... hmm.


Yesterday we went out for the day after my rehearsals for my drama exam [yes there is no stopping bobakey!] We went just walking around Cambridge, and then we walked for literally miles around the river, just following the many different paths and thinking that we were lost but in fact we had done a massive loop on one side of the city and ended back to the station, not bad not bad me thinks.


Ohhhh exciting news! My parents are to buy me a new super dooooper cooool lense for the camera *eeeeeek* Can't wait to get it, - its going to be massive so that I can zoom into things and be like the king of all camera people. Kidies here I come *evil laugh* Okies... thats sick... the natural beauties of the world, here I come :D [although my photography exam I've chosen to do umbrellas... yeah, go umbrellas!]


So now its easter half term, and I'm just relaxing listening to Bjork and just doing what I do best, sleep until 2, get up and be dressed by 3, play on the computer, do some photography work, have dinner and go back to bed. What a life!...


So now i've updated, and everyone is happy,


luvs

xXx

So I haven't been updating much recently, and I have no one really BUT myself to blame for that *sighs* .. so before I knew it 2 weeks had passed and I had so much to talk about and now look at me. Scrapping the barrel for ideas of what to type. Thats unlike me, so this is a time of lacking in words.


I'm currently sitting here and looking at the time and thinking "Just another 20 minutes until Desperate Housewives - and then an hour before bed!" - I'm seriously SHATTERED. I've never known college to knock me out like this, but its more the fact that I'm starting to get back from rehearsals for Les Miserables at 8:00pm now, after leaving the house at 7:15AM... 12 Hours 45 Minutes - now try and tell me that you don't know why I would be tired! I got home and literally collasphed [the fact it was on the toilet is a different matter]


So perhaps my fellow cast members of Les Miserables should realise when we are putting on the show *looks at the calender* Oh 3 weeks time... and how far are we? WELL we only just finished act 1 today ... HELP!!!


I'm not really sure how to talk about what I want to talk about now.. its about a certain teacher at my college. Firstly let me get this straight [how ironic] He hasn't actually DONE anything to moi... but I don't know... Let me explain. My English teacher seems to address his lessons towards me, which isn't anything bad but at times it feels strange when he is constantly directing the lesson MY. I believe that he is gay, but I don't know, honestly I don't - kinda camp, appears not to be married and my gay dar twitches when I'm in his lessons. Whenever he sees me he says hello, often stops and has a little chat with me, of course yet again there is nothing wrong with this [and I could EASILY be looking WAY too deep, But I know this]. He happens to be part of the Orchester that are playing in Les Miserables, and he heard me sing for the first time - and I he randomly came up to me today and the first thing he said was "Ah its the boy with a voice like an angel" and the spoke for about 5 minutes about how he heard me sing and how good I was blar blar... later today I learned he had been talking about me to a friend of mine.


And then something happened during one of my English lessons today - I was talking to both my english teachers in the computer room, and because I wasn't near them I moved to a swingy chair closer to them. I had said that I didn't want to contiue English next year which stirred a certain argument hehe... Anyways - When I moved the chairs I knelt on it and it swung around a bit so I put my hands on the back of the chair. Then my english teacher put his hand on my hand. And kept it there for a good 3 seconds until I moved my hand... perhaps he didn't realise he did it, or he was just trying to stop the chair from moving... but all these things are just getting to me I suppose. Even if he did like me in that way, I know nothing would happen but it makes me wonder.


I'm parnoid and apparently in love with myself after thinking that a teacher of mine likes me in that way *giggles madly*


Anyway I have watched Desperate Housewives, and spoken to a Guy [unblocked him for the first time in like 4 months], he wrote a comment on my last post and I just felt like a talk was needed. *shrugs*


And now bed is for moi
Luvs ya all

xXx


[It was a shame that I didn't get to talk much to Kate tonight on the phone a whole 6 minutes just isn't enough gossip time these days!]

So recently I have been meaning to get the website back in order, and to just generally have a spring clean and get the site back - well looking like I actually want to do something with it! So this is the start of many new things to come, I promise... [I think I promise anyways]


The last 3 hours I have spent on doing two little touches that people [on one of the things] won't even realise! Seems a bit of a waste of time, but hey thats what we do, waste time touching things up *cough*. I have now made the blog viewable in Mozilla *does a little dance* I was fed up with having to few it in IE, and I'm sure so was everybody else, but its here to stay. The other little detail that I have done is set up [on the actual blogging tool] an option to view all my comments and a blacklist - I've been recieving loads of spam so I have stopped that now *woo* Just bloody annoying that it took me a few hours when I feel like I have done so little.


So the past week has been half term *hurray* - although tomorrow its back to getting up at 6:30am and heading off to college. Looking back over this past week I wish that I had done so many different things, I really do. For example: [IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER] a) Planned my time better b) Not layed in so much [I mean after 12:00 is just not acceptable! Right?] c) Did some coursework d) Saw more of my friends e) Saw KATE ALOT more than I did, eeek. Perhaps this will teach me a lesson or two.


So on Wednesdays I went with a few college friends to London, what a day out I tell you! It was really weird mixing with college people outside college, just an all round good but weird experience. We went shopping from about 11:30 onwards, I got two new tops *woo* I really like them, uber stylish. Then we met up with 2 other college people, went for more shoppinh *loooong day* then went and had some food, that was nice, a small Italian down some random street hehe.. then saw We Will Rock You - The Queen Musical. That was super uber good, I can't really explain it without you actually having seen it before!


Thursday and Friday spent at home working *wooooo... nooo*


Then yesteday being Saturday I went to go see Kate, which was great because I hadn't seen her at all that week, which was totally my fault, especially since I said that we were going to meet up. I felt quite bad about it actually. AND like my normal good self, I didn't exactly say sorry either. BUT even so, I had a great day, just around her house and Ethel's [her god parent] and *woo* - It was just a shame that we had to part on a bit of a bad note, but perhaps thats not for me to write about here?


And today I've had my Grandad and 'step' Grandma [formally known as Mattie - called that because sister and myself failed to be able to say her name correctly - Margaret - so Matty/Mattie it was!] We had a loooovely meal. But one thing that does trouble me whenever I do have family over is how I just have to kinda be quiet, or rather not be myself. I'm not gay jakey boy anymore, I'm just Jake. Oh well, sometimes we all have to see our family and be people that we aren't. On our Best Behaviour's an All... *sighs*


I failed to mention anything about Valentines Day, its one of those days that seems to mean so much to people that it means nothing to me. No attraction there what-so-ever, but that didn't stop me making Dales Present, nor him giving me mine - He got me a these dog tags that on one of them he got "I Love You" engraved upon. And As you can imagine, I've been wearing them pretty much all the time and showing them off to people *flashes the dog tags* Yup. I'm loved.


And so are you lot *hugs*
luvs

xXx