Bobakey[dot]net

I've been meaning to, well firstly update the website, but I think also to just write this entry...


Lately I've been 'struggling' - just with desires if I was to be honest. Now you say desires and its like everyone will straight away think of something far worse than what I was thinking about. Calm down! I have a desire to write, write a song, write a play, write a novel, wrote that love note to my loved one that I've been meaning to write. But I can't find the words to write.


I have a desire to smoke. [I attempt at this point not to laugh] I've been a firm believer that smoking is the one of the worst things in my mothers life, and here I am saying I have a desire to follow in her footsteps. I hate smoking, I really do. But, don't you get those moments when you can just say out loud "I need a fag" [haha double meanings I MEANT A CIGARETTE!] The first time I had this thought was before my GCSE drama piece, me and katie were standing outside and I noticed some other people smoking and I said to her "Wouldn't this be the perfect moment to light one up?" Hmm, I really do hate smoking. Had a dream last week that I was randomly smoking, it kinda freaked me out. You know something is playing on your mind when it works its way into your dreams


I have desires to take photos, more photos than I could ever take. I want to just capture everything around me, just what I see as beauty and what I know would make such a good photo - and believe me I have Too many of those moments in a day! Creativity is bursting from every corner of my body [if my body has corners]


hmm I think I'm rambling. You get the idea already.


Monday is valentines day and this is the first year I am with someone. DAMN - I better not jinx it, afterall there is another 24 hours until the big day. I've made dale his present - and uploaded it just for the viewers [dale if you do read this? Don't have a look damn you!] Dale's Present I'm staying around his tomorrow night, and perhaps he will come over and meet my parents soon - Still working on that one.


Anywho's my eyes have been rolling to keep awake


Toodles,
Luvs

xXx

I've been avoiding updating and thats very much not like me. I think that there is too much going on right now to just be able to sit down for a few seconds and just get what I am feeling/thinking out into the open, or rather on here.


So from my last post things have moved on from the boyfriend front, me and dale are super happy... and some more... and my parents are slowly getting use to the idea. I think my mum has pretty much established with the idea that her son is out there with another boy. My dad well thats just a different story... him and mother are due to talk about it when they go away this weekend. Set the boundries or guildlines or whatever it is that they father wants to do. I think questions like: when are we going to meet him, what are we going to do? etc etc, if dale stays over, where do we sleep? Together or locked in seperate rooms. It seems petty to me. BUT my father has to get use to the whole idea.


Mum is being so supportive that I couldn't ask for more... and dale is always like a super support.


I was talking to emma the other day and I realised - or rather she realised that we never see each other anymore and I want to change that - I'm thinking - only thinking of getting everyone together, but who knows. I'm all talk and no balls at times :P


I saw Kate saturday, *woo* - I'm like such a family member now at her house, I turn up, let myself in, go and talk to her mum, get a cup of tea, bring home some lunch from McD's for Kate, and THEN I decide to go upstairs to tell kate that I have arrived. Hehe... I can't help it! I just feel perhaps too much at home at Kate's house. Blame her family for being so kind and letting me around all those times...


I then got dropped off at the station by Kate's mum <3 - got a train to dale's, or rather to the station near Dale - where I meet him, for he has been shopping, and then we wait half an hour for a lift back to his as his gran totally forgot about us - Charming hehe. I felt really erm.. odd being there again but this time under the title of "Dale's Boyfriend" BUT this time I got to meet all his family: David, Zara, Gran, Daisy, Ash, Tony [and Jason] - dear oh dear. Twas good though, me and dale spent all night watching tv and snuggling up to each other. And before anyone ask's NOTHING to do with any sexual parts or anything of the sort happened. Shhhesh! Why do people always presume?!


So there we have it. College is soon to be upon me *sighs* - I was kind of in a weird mood today but I'm all better, and now I think its time to break out on the pudding that I didn't have for dinner... mmm, chocolate!


Luvs

xXx

So my mother decided to announce at dinner that she was going to ban me from wearing my favourite pair of jeans which she had recently only last night even patched up so that I could wear them. She believes that they are not suitable for college (even though she knows how other people dress at college), people may think that because I have some holes in my years that my family will also be the same... oh and lets not forget that [this is the best bit...] people may be offended by them.


Would this be the point to state the obvious? THEY ARE JUST JEANS!any a thing has taken place recently in the form of many different things, college has been a little stressful due to a mass of coursework that needed to be handed in. And as normal I finish one bit and hand it in - only to be set another *sighs* Thats my damn life for you.


I told my parents. I did it. I actually did it. I told them I have a boyfriend. *is shocked* And the most shocking thing about the whole affair is that my mother said: "OH right... ok" and my father look at me and said "Good for you." This would be the part where I bring out the banner saying April Fools and I say "Only Joking" *evil laugh* But *takes down the banner* Nope. My parents honestly don't mind! What is going on with my family!? Oh which now OFFICALLY means that I can say that my WHOLE family has Accepted me for who I am. A Poof, fag, gay, lesbian [ewww], shirt lifter, faggot, batty boy and heaven knows what else. But I don't even care... because I am accepted - *swings around chair in a state of pure bliss*


Did you know that dogs have their 'periods' [otherwise known as their season] for a total of 21 days - I feel sorry for my puppy.


FOr Christmas [yes I know its a bit late but still] I got a gift voucher for PC World *woo* £40 mind, so of course that meant a trip with father [have now got a habbit of calling parents mother and father - shows their age more, oh and my maturity sp?] so while my dad looking at software for learning Spanish [a life long dream of my fathers to actually try and learn a new language] I browsed through the various webcam's on offer and I brought one *yipppppie* So perhaps you should expect some little images of my dearest self popping up randomly here, there and everywhere.


Anywho's bed is needed for this boy of young hearts, for I need sleep.


*hugs*


luvs

xXx

I thought it couldn't get any worse than it already is. Oh No. It got worse. I can handle my mother and sister on their periods (just about) but now with the dog coming into Season, someone save me and my dad - PLEASE! I can feel the blood, heated, and angry females even from my room, *sighs* I do feel sorry for them. I'm Over It. hehe


I had work last night, apparently all the people who didn't get a chinese on Tuesday thought it would be a good idea to suddenly turn up on Friday - BUSY BEE'S were us. BUT then again I got paid so it was all good, apart from the whole idea of getting home at 1:10AM. Although me and Toby were kinda talking, so I didn't even realise what the time was! hehe


So me and <3 Dale <3 had a little chat about some things, and we managed to agree that we both need to try and just talk more, because... well we just need to! So now I am on cloud 9 - its just all too romantic, and I just feel on top of the world, just like I did when we started to go out. So starting afreash sometimes is ALOT better than just giving up. Now I just can't stop chatting away to him! I need a restraining order on my mouth hehe - is that possible?


Rehearsals for Les Mis is storming ahead, and as well as one of the lead roles, you can also call me: Convict 4 + 5 ANDle 1 - Oh yes! Apparently, because I don't appear for the first 9 songs I get to be in the chorus but have small singing parts at the same time. Just because the other *insert number here* boys can't sing. Hehe. I think half the problem is, that people still don't realise that the WHOLE show is singing. Oh well, more for me then hehe, (not that I need anymore, Marius is a biiiggg part hehe)


Photography project needs to be handed in on Monday - Eeep. And Drama on Friday - eeep. AND Performace some time soon as well... *sighs* looks like I will be chained to Word for the next week, oh well. It's worth it right?


Luvs

xXx

I'm too tired to type lengths of words out, so this will be sweet and sharp.


Went back into college today, had a 6:30 kick off this morning. So just to make sure that I was awake my body woke me up at 4:45, that was annoying. The day seem the pass with a snail's pace. For all that I could have known I could have easily have been on the train for an hour other than the usual half an hour.


I was rather overwhelmed by all my 'friends' at college, I think it would have been easier to introduce a few at a time after a how ever long holiday. Too much to take it at once. WAY too much. I saw the loved ones, I saw the ones that I hated, so in all it was rather good.


My photography teacher rather annoys me, but perhaps I should rant on about that when my eye lids aren't falling off my face and I know how to control an argument correctly. Ah Annoying.


Had work tonight and it was pointly, 5 oders only. So I sat about watching tv for an hour, and being fasinated by the way a chinese man can cut a lump of beef up. Beautiful.


Right, off to bed, talley-ho!


Luvs

xXx